On Moms, Marriages and those confounded relatives!

Lemme talk about marriages first-
"Marriage is an institution from which most men try to run before association and most women after." (And I being so intellizant, I not wanting to venture anyway!!)
Thus having said that i would like to proceed to marriage scenes -those shaadi's and parties I personally hate to go to and even if i do, i somehow manage beautifully to go to only those where there are no pottas (luck factor!!)
Worse still if they are of relatives and all that !! #$@%^*#$ is all I can say every time.
Every time same dialogues !! Rat key ..they come or what i think !!
One girl they spot .. boley to... finish!! you could say potential matrimony columns in full swings .. jodis are made so fast at ferrari speed..!!!!!
One typical group of old ladies.. all with white hair and pattu silks a stamp pattern..
"ayyo subbalakshmi amma!! enti manavadu naa?? andagadey ney!!!"(ohh grand son huh..?? good looking only!!!)
"aa pilla evaru ??(whoz that girl over there..?) one of them exclaims!!

Now the whole oldey party is interested. That was me..(unfortunately!) .They keep staring, staring at me and I try my level best not to look that way! Finally curiosity tumbles out of the bag and they call me..!! come here!!
I stifle my overexerted nerves that are weak with pretending and go.. and give this characteristic smile...
One particularly old corpulent lady asks me,"evaramma nuvvu??"(who r u?)
me: blah's daughter!!
short sighted old lady:" ohh!! blah's daughter aa?? (blah=dad)
another oldy:"ohho!! blaahh's daughter aaa??!!!(blaahh= mom)
me to myself:(sarcastically- no only blah's daughter!! blaahh!!wasn't involved!!)

Me to them :”yes yes her only!!”

Another one: I saw u when u were 4.!! How big u have become!! You look just like your dad !! so similar!!

Me –(puzzled over ‘big’ factor- fat aa ?? old aa?? And I f I look like dad y did she ask me all that mahabharat anyway..??) Anyway I say nothing.. do that smile again.. this time my cheek muscles aching with agony!!

Corpulent old lady:” how old are u??”

Me: 20

Old lady: ohho!! Wat du do..??

Me: ( to myself-like u wud know anyway!!) im doing bsc.. in blah!!

Her: adenti..??

Another smart lady: like b.com !!

Her: ohho!!

That juncture I smartly exit somehow. Sure that they wud have started the matrimony column for me and some uncanny 6^th sense told me it was with the poor bloke.. of the fat woman..

On moms-

Excluding my mom and thanking to god shez not the type I am going to talk about.

You would expect the moms of “eligible girls” being all protective about their daughters, but believe me I’ve even seen moms of guys who are sooo irritating, nosy parker type. Always wanting to know what any girls around the guy is upto as they have this very wrong notion about their ‘suitable boy’.

And we know these typical melodramatic moms of the movies who have this typical black suitcase .. with weirdo bangles and that typical ‘lal’shaadi ka joda. I had always wondered how they know the size since years?? Wat if the gal is fat or short or too long to fit into that ??

More moms are of the type who keep a lookout for their daughter’s perfect match everywhere they go and praising their ladki in front of the potential candidates..

‘She makes such nice food!!’, ‘does all the house work’, ‘my daughter can sing so well!’

‘such nice manners’ etc…

Then come in the relatives.

One fine day the mausi of the girl’s mom’s mamaji calls up home .-‘ I have this match for your daughter. From well cultured family. I met him so many times will be perfect match for her’.

The mom gets all interested ..’accha? who are they?’

Mausi launches into detailed family chart of her’s to explain this relative..’the boy is my warangal cousin’s daughter’s sister in laws husband’s sister’s son. He is in America in some s/w company earns some 80k. you should meet them sometime. They are in India now looking for bride.

Then you never know what happened and when and next week their daughter is all married and set for the US and the mausi in bright spotlight taking credit for this matchmaking and reveling in all praises .

Why I wrote all this is not yet clear to me but I guess with the frustration of reaching 20 and also with the inspiration of a friend whom I was conversing with a few days ago.
and most importantly hoping somehow i could avoid those embarassing situations in life and how to run from those relatives...when that inevitable time comes... but for now as my friend
'Australo' spaked .. FUCITOL!!!

Still wondering ,
Prognosticator